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The day he left me I went to her grave, placed the petals of a dried up ros eon the ground
I said I understand now what you must have felt
and the blackbirds on the wire said the rest
Ellen I was more like you than my mother or father
my brothers or sister
I know just what you wanted to do: to shatter the cold with sweetness but be bold and to play sweet tunes
all the day long
The shadows followed me as I walked up the hill
Took a shortcut through the woods but here they are still
See darkness clings to me like I'm its mother
but death will never be a child of mine
When I got home I fell face down on my bed
Tears drenched the quilt I slept on as a girl
You can't go back
Love can hurt more than can be told
I just hope it's different when I'm old
Ellen I was more like you than my mother or father
my brothers or sister
I know just what you wanted to do:
To shatter the cold with sweetness but be bold
and to play sweet tunes all the day long
The meadow is dry but the sun still shines
The pond is ice but the streams still run
And any time I can take no more of this
I'll sing to the blackbird on the wire
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If you should miss me go to the place where you hear singing and look for my face
I hear your silence
I've measured the breech, the space between us hello could bridge
I looked to the left, I looked to the right
There are no lights coming
It's been a lonely long night
I loved you my darling from start to the end
I didn't mean to fail you
I was so young back then
Come back to me I promise if you come
A love that floats up and flows downstream
You may never ben mine and I can see why
It's just the sun doesn't shine with you gone
If you should miss me please don't hesitate
Come to the city
I'll be sitting in the same place
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It's all in a day's work
It's all in a night' slumber
It's all in my head as you used to say
But if it's all in my mind than why are these hopes so well fed, but at the end of the day I am still hungry for you
I put the paint on the wall
I put the books on the shelf
I placed my shoes in a line still I can't make it look right
I closed my eyes and saw beady eyes and claws but I couldn't find your hand anywhere in the dark
I'm crossing a bridge with rickety wood
Too far to turn back, too far from the other side
What can I do
I don't want to jump
It's just so hard to think with the water taunting below
I made a curtsey before the dance
You swept my hands up in your hands
The music drowned out the rest
You are gone
And you can love anyone you choose but I still remember everything
Just don't look in my eyes or it may all come back to you
I don't understand this battle you lead
Strategic moves against your enemy
It wasn't a war but a river so warm
Only using its force to push us out to the sea
It's all in a day's work
It's all in a night's slumber but at the end of the day I am still hungry for you
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I drove down to the beach to see my best friend
and we talked awhile on the frozen seats and I said
if I lived here I'd always be writing poetry
and we watched the water pull the summer rocks away
Tell me Emily why do people change and become who they
never wanted to be
I just want to hear you sing so badly it hurts but you've become quiet just like the birds
When I drive in my car why is it so hard to sing the words to familiar songs
I think it's 'cause I take them all so seriously
It feels like something is stealing oxygen from me
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6. |
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Pounding pounding upstairs
Stopping stopping anywhere
Crying crying so hard
Waiting waiting for what
If I said I wasn't scared of the dark woods at night
If I could uproot a tree
If I could hold back the reigns on this wild horse of mine
then I wouldn't be me
'Cause I'm just a little girl
I'm just a little girl still inside
Why are you getting so mad
Why don't I ever get madder
Why does everything change before I give it permission
If I said I wasn't scared of the dark woods at night
If I could uproot a tree
If I could hold back the reigns on this wild horse of mine
Then I wouldn't be me
I just want someone to sway with me
Someone who won't judge me
Someone who'll never be cross with me
I don't mean to ever do anything bad
But sometimes my heart gets ahead of my head
I can't be your doll with a painted on smile
Sometimes I frown
What we don't have we could always dream up
Don't drink the tea there's a ship in the cup
It's all pretend but we are real
Just be my friend
'Cause I'm just a little girl
I'm just a little girl still inside
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7. |
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If time is all you want
Then time is all I have
Making tracks in the mud
It's better than blood
You don't go anywhere but you leave me here
You escape the boat
Will you return to me dove
I've banished myself from the land I loved
I used to expect a lot now I accept just enough
There are no reserves
just this one bottle left
of rose red wine meant to age that I offered you the first time
You say your heart soars
You sing so openly
You allow me a few kind words
but they're phrased so carefully
Elbows on the sill
Can't you just lie still when you wake
Can't you sleep
Just to see if maybe you'll dream
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8. |
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Pencils and scissors
Graph paper valentines
The mistakes I've made
Trying to get away like a parrot
Trying to fly away
Every try is the wrong way
Every end is the start
Circles are drawn in one big motion
Unlike my choppy heart
I don't know where to go
I owe everyone so I hope aboard a plane
Anything that moves faster is better than this awful pace
I can't get over you
I don't know if I ever try
Every time I step a little further
I am sick for you to be by my side
Trying to feel something new
And learn a little bit about me
But nothing compares to you
I'll be alone
I'll make all I can
I'll do all I can do
I don't mind waiting in the cold
'Cause my cheeks will be rosy when I see you
There's a spot in the front yard you laid your head in my lap
I tell the memories to leave me alone but they keep on coming back
Every try is the wrong way
Every end is the start
Circles are drawn in one big motion
Unlike my choppy heart
Unlike my choppy heart
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9. |
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Darlin when you try to be nice just look at your face
It's clear it takes everything you've got
You smile and laugh when the girls are around
but when you're with me you hang your head down
Now I love you for trying and there's nothing like a good cry
But baby every day is it really that bad?
You squeeze me tight and let me know with tears your love is true
Darlin quit being so nice it's making me blue
I ask if we can go out to a dance
I ask if we can out to a show
I suggest a hundred things that would be fun to do
But you just want to hold me close and sleep
The next day I call to see how you're feeling
And your dad says youre out on the town
Ow baby
You squeeze me tight and let me know with tears your love is true
Darlin quit being so nice it's making me blue
You squeeze me and let me know with tears your love is true
Darlin quit being so nice it's making me blue
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10. |
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I am passing through a valley deep
Through an endless harvest of thorns
I am yearning for the mountain top
For my peaceful orchard grove
It is there that I will ask the Lord to send the rain for me
If he answers No I will save my tears to make the nettles grow
I am passing I am passing there's no place to lay down my head
I am tired, I am slowing but it's only there I'll rest
It's only there I'll rest
I started walkng with another
He was all I ever desired
But he ran ahead to claim his earnings
leaving me forever to mourn
My only friend now is the Lord
and if he leaves me I'll be alone
But if heaven bars its gates from me
I'll still keep walking the valley
I am passing I am passing
There's no place to lay down my head
I am tired I am slowing
but it's only there I'll rest
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11. |
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I live on the orchard hill
the apples are ripe but still
My sister says if he does not call
Should the winter skip straight to fall
We are gone
We are gone
When the snow melts the birds will fidn the grass
WE'll watch the rain stream down the glass
My sister says if he does not come
Should the clouds steal the show from the sun
We are gone
so gone
We are gone with the sigh that slips from your lips
We are gone
With the warmth he stole away from you
We're not waiting
We are gone
Dandelions drifting in the air
Rise or fall they do not care
I wish we could go with them
the wind would just know where to send us
We are gone with the sigh that slips
From your lips
We are gone
With the warmth he stole away from you
We're not waiting
We are gone
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